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  • Written & Directed & Choreographed by Carolyn White
  • Starring Carolyn White, Emmett Rosenbaum, Justin Sasserath, Ami Gillon
  • Edited by Walt Frasier
  • We do not own ANY of the following
    CGI Animation of Space provided by Pixels https://www.pexels.com/video/cgi-animation-of-space-854228/
    Billie Karaoke track purchased via
    https://www.karaoke-version.com/mp3-backingtrack/billie-eilish/bad-guy.html
  • Additional Music provided by Walt Frasier on Piano
    Blues based on “You deserve a break today” McDonald’s Jingle
    Hallelujah Chorus, Messiah by George Frederic Handel Imperial
    March from Star Wars by John Williams

New classes for kids & teens forming every month.

  • Comedy 4 Teens
  • Comedy 4 Kids
  • Advanced comedy classes for kids by invitation only. Improv, Stand-Up and Sketch Comedy Weekly online classes available now. See you back in TIMES SQUARE soon!!!
  • http://www.eightimprov.biz
  • http://www.improv4kids.com

Starts with black screen, and cuts to girl being thrown into ball pit–McDonald’s ball pit

 

Girl: 

Oh my gawsh! Is this…McDonalds? I LOVE fast food…but, why am I here?

 

Waiting Room Person:

Oh you’re here, a little late though…must be a glitch in the system

 

Girl:

What, no! I’m always fashionably late for things.

 

Waiting Room Person:

I see…well, we’ll have you out of here in just a second. Oh, by the way, you’re dead. Sorry about that, but welcome to burgertory.

 

Girl: 

Are you kidding me?! I can’t be dead, I still have things to do! Like…post about how I don’t get fake tans or wear makeup on Instagram! I thought purgatory meant I was a ghost.

 

Waiting Room Person:

Ma’m, I apologize, but it’s not my job to console the deceased. The best I can do is offer you is a lukewarm McFlurry. And it’s BURGERtory. Some guy misspelled purgatory, so a McDonald’s was built.

 

Girl:

Wow, some people just don’t have common sense. #can’t relate. (Gets handed drink) Oooh yasss, that looks so delish. I bet you’ve met tons of other girls who wouldn’t dare to even look at one of these, but I’m nothing like them! I bet they only like salads, so shallow am I right?

 

Waiting Room Person:

Okay…I’m just about to send you up to heaven, but don’t get too excited, this is just a formality. We have to see what God thinks of you.

 

Girl:

Wdym? I’m totally heaven material. I’m not fake, I love video games, and I love rock music! I bet you don’t have anyone like that up there!

 

Waiting Room Person:

Note to God…girl talks in abbreviations…alright. I think we’re all set to go. (Pushes button)

 

Girl: 

I must tell you, unlike some people, (Trailing off) I’m super anxious and loyal to my boyfriend–

 

Waiting Room Person: 

Oof. Good luck God.

 

Girl:

I’m so glad I didn’t fix my hair today. I know some people would, but I like it messy.

 

God:

Welcome to heaven! Where you can live in luxury for all of–are you still talking about your hair?

 

Girl:

Oh, sorry, I just wanted to point out that I’m so unique that I didn’t even wash it this morning. I bet other girls wouldn’t be caught dead like that, but not me!

 

God:

(To themself) Well, we all have our flaws…

 

Girl:

Oh, and do you have Call of Duty up here? I like to play video games while I bet other girls are getting their nails done. They’re so typical, lol.

 

God:

Ahem. Right, well, I see a strong lack of…personality coming from you, so–

 

Girl:

What r u saying? I’m just exposing all the horrible things other women do, and how I’m so much different and better than them!

 

God:

Riiight. Well, I think you’ll be a much better fit down in hell…sooo, bye.

 

Girl:

(Trailing off) Probably no other girls get to meet Satan–

 

Satan:

Who’s this girl? She doesn’t seem like a bad person…ugh, probably reads books and teaches children to write…

 

Girl:

Actually, I run a full time blog called Quirkchat! It’s where all special girls can get together, and explain how hard it is to be an outcast for not wearing skinny jeans.

 

Satan:

…You’ll fit in just fine.

 

Girl:

EXCUSE ME?!

 

Satan:

…w-what?

 

Girl:

NO, no no no no!

 

Satan:

…I-…what’s the problem?

 

Girl:

  1. Don’t. Fit. In. I can’t believe you would even say that I don’t want to be like other girls I want to be my own person how could you even compare me to those ordinary and common girls they don’t have any defining qualities–

 

(The ground begins to shake)

 

Satan:

W-what’s happening?!

 

(God and Waiting Room Person appear in hell)

 

Waiting Room Person:

Her quirkiness is ripping a hole in the system! She’s too unusual for the afterlife! If we don’t do something soon, the whole universe could collapse!

 

Girl:

–and I don’t get why they even exist I mean they’re clones they all put gunk all over their faces and they only care about lipstick breaking boys hearts and clothes! I have no clue why–

 

(God, thinking quickly, pulls out his iPhone, goes onto iTunes, and starts playing…)

 

God:

Billie Eillish songs should calm her down…

 

Satan:

How do you know?

 

God:

I went on the “not like other girls reddit page.”

 

(God plays a song)

 

Girl

 –I’m so outdoorsy and…other people…can’t…understand–Is that Billie? Omg she’s my queen!! (Starts lip syncing to Bad Guy)

 

Waiting Room Person:

It’s a pretty good song…

 

God:

Yeah, I never realized that…

 

Satan:

I don’t think any normal people listen to Billie…

 

Waiting Room Person, God, and Satan:

(Turning into quirky girls–high pitched voices and super enthusiastic) We must be unique because of our specific song preferences!

 

Girl:

Now you’re getting it!

 

(They all start humming to the song)